PC Helpdesk

“The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.” – Dave Barry

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute … I hadn’t inserted it yet … it’s still on my desk … Sorry …

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one …
Tech support: Click on the “My Computer” icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello … I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “Start” for me and …
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says “Can’t find printer”. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it …

Customer: I have problems printing in red …
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah … thank you.

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah … that one does work …

Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter “V” as in Victor, the number “7”.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry … Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.