I’ve just dropped our 9-y/o Cavalier at the vet to get a couple of teeth removed. She has to go under for the procedure. I’m worried about her, she has a heart murmur and she’s old and the vet said it will be very risky.
We lost our other baby girl a few months ago, so I’m feeling kind of anxious. Fingers crossed she comes out of it ok.
Sasha has responded well to the skin treatments, she looks healthier than ever.
My long hair has been annoying me like crazy lately, forever wrestling with it and the knots! So today I had it trimmed and coloured. The length went from just above my waist to just below my shoulder blade. The colour went from a light ash brown to a chocolate brown.
My appointment was first for the day, so no waiting! (always my pet hate at hairdressers). Plus to my surprise I had a male hairdresser; it was so nice to be pampered for two hours by a man!
After telling myself beforehand I was not going to buy any of the expensive salon hair products, of course I walked out with some! Bryce (hairdresser) just did such a wonderful job today and I felt compelled to follow his advice for taking care of it!
I’m in a deep funk. Come on woman, snap out of it. Having a bad few days. Haven’t been eating right, or taking medication. Snap out of it. Get past it.
I feel so damn sorry for myself, isolated and alienated. I’m angry at all the time wasted, life is slipping away hour by hour yet I waste it, feeling depressed. I waste time wishing my life away instead of enjoying it.
Mum just dropped in for a coffee, it was a brief bright spark in the day. When she left the dark mood returned with vicious intensity. I just feel like doing myself in.
It is school holidays, Mum is picking up a couple of grandkids tomorrow. It is niece’s birthday on Thursday, H and I bought some gifts for her. I guess we’ll drop around to the house sometime to give it to her. At the same time I sort of dread this, I feel like I carry my dark cloud everywhere and people are glad to see the back of me.
There are days when I wish I’d never been born, then I wouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of ending it. I just feel empty, my mind is a void. No virtues, no intelligence, no love to give, nothing special. What good am I?
I’ve nothing to give. I am nothing. Why does H want me with him? Why does anyone want me around? Wish I didn’t exist. I can understand why people drink and take drugs, to escape. I just want to escape. I am sick and tired of feeling like this. Going mad.
I think if I was alone, if there weren’t people who cared what happened to me, if I didn’t have my dog to care for, I would get in my car and keep driving until I ran out of fuel. Then I would get out of the car and keep walking. I would walk and walk and not care about where I was going or what was happening along the way. I would walk until I reached the sea and then I would wade out through the waves and keep swimming until I disappeared.
A fairly uneventful weekend; Hubby had the weekend off work and it was market day on Saturday so we went for a stroll.
Picked up a knitted doggy coat for Sash (too small), Hubby got some ratchet ropes for his truck (can never have too many ropes or ratchets).
We saw an anvil at the tool stall and instantly thought of Hubby’s colleague pal Troy, who has been looking for an anvil to beat his medieval pageantry armour. We were expecting to run into Troy and his partner M and sure enough, about 15 minutes later we did.
The anvil at the tool stall was very small and the asking price too large. Instead M took great delight in showing us the anvil they did buy – a miniature sized one for $5!
Went our separate ways again, one last stop near the tool place I looked up and saw a familiar face.. except it was far older than the last time I saw it, about 13 years ago! It was an old beau Rushie, with white hair and beard, a wife (?) and brood of kids in tow. I wondered if they were his, or whether it was a patchwork family.
Anyway, he was leaving and didn’t see me. As he strolled away I saw him light up one of his “tailor-made” cigarettes and if I’d still had doubts as to who he was, I was pretty sure then.
A mini movie review of the last five weeklies for $5.50 from the local video store!
Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead – Christina Applegate’s movie debut, following her role as airhead teen queen in the TV series Married with Children. At least she has more nouse in this one. Contains some great lines including “The dishes are DONE, man!” and “Get inside you maggots!”. Kind of enjoyable (if unbelievable) to watch Sue Ellen (Applegate) fake her way in the corporate fashion world, and the transformation of her dopehead brother Kenny into something a mother would be more proud to call her own..
Welcome to Mooseport – It was a bit disappointing to see Gene Hackman in this Ray Romano film – bit of a comedown. Ray plays a plumber fixing toilets in the holiday house of outgoing President Hackman.. Ray was predictable and stereotyped from his successful TV series Everybody Loves Raymond (which I enjoyed). He seems capable of only one type of humour.
Dead or Alive – not a bad Western, starring Kris Kristofferson as the legendary “Noble Adams”, a retired tracker who scared even the Apaches in his heyday. Adams is called back for just one more manhunt, accompanied by his book-learned son, who is anxious to prove himself in his father’s eyes. Enjoyed it.
Sahara – the delectable Matthew McConaughey, Penelope Cruz and Steve Zahn (gotta love his grin) star in this adventurous foray into Africa, and on the way they discover buried treasure and save the world. Some good bits but not in the same league as Indiana Jones or James Bond.
Catch Me If You Can – Leonardo di Caprio is a naughty boy from a broken home and leads Tom Hanks’ character on a merry chase across the world as he passes himself off as a teacher, lawyer, doctor and airline pilot cashing dud checks along the way. Based on a true story! Rather enjoyed it.
Went to the movies with Jo last week. She informed me the movies were “her treat”, had brought along snacks and everything! I watched as she stepped up to the ticket counter and confidently requested two tickets for the Da Vinci Code. I was so impressed with her! I just stood back and let her do it all.
We sat in Jo’s customary spot near the front of the cinema. The multiplex cinemas are so tiny compared to the old-fashioned theatres. There weren’t many other people in with us, and I could hear the soundtrack from Poseidon playing next door.
Once our movie started you couldn’t hear anything else so it was all good, Jo and I quickly became engrossed in the story. It was interesting with lots of unexpected little twists and turns and anecdotes.
Afterwards when we discussed the movie, Jo thought one of the interesting bits was the flashback footage of Mary Magdalene giving birth – she was standing up on blocks!
Our parents saw the movie a few days earlier – Mum commented that the self-flagellating monk (Silas) was completely unnecessary in the movie. Must say it was unpleasant to watch, but was a good device to show the Catholic faith has it’s own fundamentalist mentality. And as a killer monk, he must have a bit of fanaticism in him!
I thought the unveiling of the apparently doddering enthusiast Teabing as the mastermind behind the killings tied the story up a little too neatly for my taste. It probably would have been more believable if Langdon had not been so friendly with him.
Made me wonder again about the possibility of descendants of Jesus Christ’s bloodline – if not directly from Christ himself, the theory that he had a brother (sired by Joseph) is fascinating. In the end it makes very little difference I suppose.